A dating profile for the ladies
Shirtless photos for men (or bikini photos for women) say “I vacation on the Jersey Shore, pump my fist to house music, use tons of hair gel and probably have at least one tribal / Chinese symbol tattoo.” Myspace-style chin-down eyes-up pouty-face selfies say, “I want to look pretty and am not particularly intelligent.” Far-away vacation shots say, “Have I mentioned that I travel? Use proper punctuation and make sure most of the words are spelled correctly.
I’m sure I mentioned it like 56 times in my profile, but just in case you missed it, here is me in Laos. Love it.” Think beyond “this is a cool / funny / flattering photo that I like” and ask yourself, “How is a total stranger going to view me and my life when they look at this photo? This one should be obvious, but unfortunately it’s not. The exception to this rule: You are a moron who would like to attract other morons. One very reliable red flag on online dating sites: People who list the age range of people they’ll date as significantly younger or significantly older, but not overlapping with their own.
This is, unsurprisingly, pretty strongly gendered: There are tons of men who are, say, 36, and list their dating age range from 20 – 35, or women who are 28 and list their dating age range from 29 – 44.
If you really won’t date someone your own age (or a few years older or younger), ask yourself what’s going on when you, a 35-year-old grown-ass man, feel like you would have more in common with a woman who just reached legal drinking age than with a woman two years your senior, who is much more likely to be in a similar place career- and experience-wise.
And why do you, a 23-year-old, want to date someone who could technically be your father if 16 & Pregnant had existed in the 70s? And also realize that while relationships with large age differences can of course be happy and successful, there is usually something wrong with a person who refuses to engage romantically with anyone in their peer group, and instead seeks out a relationship that will involve serious differences in experience and power.
Don’t be the guy who every girl is like, “There’s something wrong with that guy.” Yes, we’ve all been burned while dating, and we all have loooooong lists of things we don’t want in a partner.
Relatedly: Select photos where you can actually see what you look like.They've had enough demands in their life including those put on them by ex-wives and families. Otherwise it's like false advertising, which is hard to keep up.They're not looking for a repeat of what they just left. Don't try and pretend to be a certain way just to attract a Quality Man, when in reality, you are not that woman.In fact, you do yourself a disservice pretending to be who you think a man wants.